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Men and Trauma New Zealand
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  • Home
  • Contact Us
    • Do You Require Urgent Assistance?
    • Contact booking form
    • Professional Referrals
    • Did we help you?
    • Feedback
    • Complaints
    • Fees
  • Who are Men and Trauma?
    • Our Locations >
      • Our Auckland Team
      • Our Central Team
      • Our Wellington Team
      • Our Nelson West Coast Team
      • Our Canterbury Team
    • Our Leadership Team
    • Vision and Mission >
      • Charitable status
    • Who We Work With
  • Having Difficulties from trauma and abuse?
    • What do we mean by Trauma >
      • What causes Trauma?
      • Effects of Trauma
    • I'm really struggling with >
      • Child Abuse
      • Suicidal thoughts and behaviours
      • Intimate Partner Violence
      • Anger and Rage after Trauma
      • Anxiety and Depression
      • Addictions
      • Feeling Numb
    • What is Sexual Abuse? >
      • Have I Been Sexually Abused?
      • Disclosing Sexual Abuse
      • Child Sexual Abuse
      • Sexual Harm
    • Male Sexual Abuse in New Zealand >
      • Facts VS. Myths
      • 17 Reasons
  • How we help males recover from trauma and abuse
    • What is peer support >
      • Who are Peer Support Workers?
      • 1 to 1 Peer Support
      • Peer Support Groups
      • Peer Support For Sexual Abuse
      • Peer Support Enquiry Form
    • 1-on-1 counselling
    • Confidential Listening Service
    • Families & Partners of Survivors
    • Tell Us Your Story
  • Rainbow, LGBTQI+ & Takatāpui Services
    • Will This Service Be Right for Me?
    • What Questions Can I Ask A Counsellor?
    • ​Frequently Asked Questions
    • Rainbow Takatāpui: Resources
  • Resources
    • Academic Research
    • Recommended Websites
    • Articles
    • Media Videos

17 Reasons

17 Reasons Why Male Sexual Abuse Is Under-Reported

#1
Males are commonly taught to avoid paying attention to certain feelings: shame, helplessness, fear, sadness, inadequacy, loss of control, etc.
#2
Males are encouraged to be self-sufficient, assertive in initiating sexual contact, to fight their own battles, and to feel in control (abuse=weakness).
#3
Boys are given more permission to explore and experiment with sexuality at earlier ages than girls.
#4
Males are more likely to act out their emotional stress aggressively, thus concealing abuses.
#5
The shame about same-sex abuse and mother-son abuse.
#6
Boys who are abused in conjunction with older boys may have been persuaded to believe that group sexual activity is necessary to ensure future sexual adequacy.
#7
Awareness of the culturally biased reactions of family and friends.
#8
Sexually abusive activities may be the only physical "nurturing" the boy will experience, further confusing the victim about the abuse.
#9
Male sexual socialisation encourages men to define all sexual experiences as desirable as long as they are not homosexual.
#10
Males abused by a woman may hesitate to report it for fear it will bring their masculinity into question, giving further "evidence" of their sexual abnormality. "The non-abuse myth".
#11
Males may feel that in order to uphold a strong and masculine image, they must tolerate painful situations and not ask for outside help. Any admission of abuse can be translated into not being very masculine.
#12
Boys without fathers may be psychologically vulnerable to abuse because their need for male role models and companions may supersede their belief that the abuse is wrong.
#13
Focus on female sexual abuse tends to overshadow male abuse.
#14
Boys may be more likely than girls to withhold the details of their abuse for fear that they may not be believed.
#15
Society's attitude of "guilt by association" may cause a man to deny the abuse for fear he will be labelled "abuser". "Abuse excuse".
#16
Alcohol and drugs may effectively cover the intensity of feelings about abuse.
#17
Men who are part of a community that is stigmatised for any reason, whether by ethnicity, sexuality, diverse gender or mental or physical disability, are often afraid to seek support or report abuse.

​This is because the agencies that are supposed to help them don’t take them seriously, blame them for the abuse or suggest that it is ‘deserved’ in some way because they are different.
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