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      • Our Auckland Team
      • Our Central Team
      • Our Nelson West Coast Team
      • Our Canterbury Team
    • Who We Work With
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    • Our Leadership Team
    • Vision and Mission >
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  • Having Difficulties from trauma and abuse?
    • I'm really struggling with >
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      • Domestic, Family or Intimate Partner Violence
      • Anger and Rage after Trauma
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      • Addictions
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        • Facts VS. Myths
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      • One to One Peer Support
      • Peer Support Group Meetings
    • Confidential Listening Service
    • Tell Us Your Story
  • Rainbow, LGBTQI+ & Takatāpui Services
    • Will This Service Be Right for Me?
    • What Questions Can I Ask A Counsellor?
    • ​Frequently Asked Questions
    • Rainbow Takatāpui: Resources
  • Resources
    • Academic Research
    • Recommended Websites
    • Articles
    • Media Videos

17 Reasons

17 Reasons Why Male Sexual Abuse Is Under-Reported

#1
Males are commonly taught to avoid paying attention to certain feelings: shame, helplessness, fear, sadness, inadequacy, loss of control, etc.
#2
Males are encouraged to be self-sufficient, assertive in initiating sexual contact, to fight their own battles, and to feel in control (abuse=weakness).
#3
Boys are given more permission to explore and experiment with sexuality at earlier ages than girls.
#4
Males are more likely to act out their emotional stress aggressively, thus concealing abuses.
#5
The shame about same-sex abuse and mother-son abuse.
#6
Boys who are abused in conjunction with older boys may have been persuaded to believe that group sexual activity is necessary to ensure future sexual adequacy.
#7
Awareness of the culturally biased reactions of family and friends.
#8
Sexually abusive activities may be the only physical "nurturing" the boy will experience, further confusing the victim about the abuse.
#9
Male sexual socialisation encourages men to define all sexual experiences as desirable as long as they are not homosexual.
#10
Males abused by a woman may hesitate to report it for fear it will bring their masculinity into question, giving further "evidence" of their sexual abnormality. "The non-abuse myth".
#11
Males may feel that in order to uphold a strong and masculine image, they must tolerate painful situations and not ask for outside help. Any admission of abuse can be translated into not being very masculine.
#12
Boys without fathers may be psychologically vulnerable to abuse because their need for male role models and companions may supersede their belief that the abuse is wrong.
#13
Focus on female sexual abuse tends to overshadow male abuse.
#14
Boys may be more likely than girls to withhold the details of their abuse for fear that they may not be believed.
#15
Society's attitude of "guilt by association" may cause a man to deny the abuse for fear he will be labelled "abuser". "Abuse excuse".
#16
Alcohol and drugs may effectively cover the intensity of feelings about abuse.
#17
Men who are part of a community that is stigmatised for any reason, whether by ethnicity, sexuality, diverse gender or mental or physical disability, are often afraid to seek support or report abuse.

​This is because the agencies that are supposed to help them don’t take them seriously, blame them for the abuse or suggest that it is ‘deserved’ in some way because they are different.
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