Partners are quite often the first person a man will tell of the sexual abuse. Telling does not mean however that the shame, guilt, fear of people questioning his manhood or sexuality that led him to keep the abuse secret just goes away.
Partners, report pressure to take on and keep the secret. This has an effect of isolating these partners from important sources of personal support for them at a time they most need it.
The pressure partners can feel to act as sole supporter is too much to expect of one person. We know that being well connected and supported is important for our health and well being. However, current men’s health research notes men are less likely to access health care and counselling than women, men have smaller social support networks than women and men are unlikely to have a close confidant other than their spouse. This lack of support compounds problems for couples dealing with sexual abuse, leaving both parties struggling to cope. (Gary Foster, LivingWell)
Resources
This page is rich with resources for families, partners and all loved ones of survivors.
We've covered off many the essential things you need to know about effectively supporting your loved one in recovery.
We also look at what you need for yourself to stay secure and supported in this relationship. Remember, at Men and Trauma we are here to support you, as you support your loved one through recovery. Find out about our Partners of Male Survivors Support Groups .
Useful Links & Resources
Information for Partners of Male Sexual Abuse Survivors
This group is for those who have experienced, or are experiencing this to have a place to talk about their situation in complete privacy. You can choose to be in a group of only your own gender if you prefer.
All groups, whether in person or online, have two trained co-facilitators.
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